Never the Same
by bowtiesandpeonies
Summary: Blair Waldorf has been gone from the Upper East Side for three years and Chuck Bass has never been the same, when he escapes to London the truth comes out. They are reunited and drama seems to follow them, can they make it work for the last time?
1. When You Stop Looking, You'll Find it

Chapter One, When you stop looking, you'll find it.

Chuck Bass stood before the counter facing the young woman on the other side of the desk, do-able, he thought to himself has he examined her long dark hair, dark eyes and the way her cheek bones stood out, but, like all the other girls he had expressed an interest in over the past three years, she reminded him of Blair. His heart ached at the thought of her, Chuck missed her so much.

Chuck reached across the front desk and snatched the keys from the woman. She was about to say 'I hope you enjoy your stay' when he rudely turned his back on her and headed towards the elevator, suitcase in one hand. He was disappointed that the suite he wanted was already occupied; didn't they know who he was? Didn't they know that he was Chuck Bass? But what did that matter to him anymore? He wasn't Chuck Bass anymore and hasn't been for over three years. He's not Chuck Bass without her.

No. He couldn't keep thinking about her, not now. He left the Upper East Side to get away from all the constant reminders of her, of the pain he felt in his chest every morning when Blair wasn't lying in bed next to him. Chuck pushed the up button and waited for the elevator to come down.

He distracted himself by watching the red light that indicated which floor the elevator was on. He started to count down in his head along with it when the elevator reached 10…9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

The doors opened slowly and Chuck stood aside to let the people out. His heart stopped. The last woman to exit the elevator was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was wearing a pair of black flats, jeans and a green coat. Her face was down looking at her phone as her fingers typed quickly, her brown locks hung down and she wore her yellow headband like it was a tiara.

She was about to walk past Chuck, like he wasn't even there and without thinking he grabbed her arm. "Blair!" he whispered.

Blair looked up from her phone to Chuck Bass staring at her. Her heart sped up dramatically as she looked into Chuck's beautiful eyes and saw his cute smile spread across his face. Blair fought with herself to not return the smile; instead she looked away from his gaze and fought out of his grip as she rushed out of the lobby and onto the street, leaving Chuck standing there, too shocked to move.

Blair breathed in the fresh air when the automatic doors opened, and ran down the street, she stopped when she got to the bus stop and broke down. Her breathing became hysteric and tears ran down her face. What was he doing here? She hadn't had any contact with him or the Upper East Side since she left, besides the occasional phone call from Serena, the random texts from Nate and the Gossip Girl Blasts that she no longer had any interest for. Not one word from Chuck. Her heart broke the night she left them, the night she left him.


	2. Saying Good Bye

Chapter 2, Saying Good-bye

She knew this day would come, the day Chuck would coming looking for her, but she didn't think it would take him three years. Well, he found me, she thought. She couldn't go back there, not now, it's been too long for her to just come back, as though nothing had happened, and she was too embarrassed to tell them what happened after she left. Blair hugged herself around her waist to try and hold herself together as the memory came flooding back before she could stop it.

_ Blair was all set and packed and admiring her gold ring when Chuck walked into her penthouse. "Leaving without saying good-bye?" Chuck asked shocking Blair, she didn't hear him come in. _

_ "What are you doing here Chuck?" She returned with a snap, she didn't want to be so mean, but this way if he hated her it would be easier to leave. _

_ "Don't be like that Blair," Chuck whispered. "You know why I'm here, please don't do this, don't leave with him Blair."_

_ Blair looked away from Chuck and returned her attention to the ring, it wasn't the most beautiful ring she had ever seen but she would settle for it. Chuck and her were history, he made that clear last night. So then why did he have to come here now? She was finally ready to leave and now he had her second guessing herself._

_ "You made it very clear last night Chuck that you didn't want anything more to do with me, so please, stick to your word and let me be."_

_ "No. I didn't mean what I said last night, you know me better than that Blair, and I know you didn't believe me, I only said those things because I thought it was the right thing to do, I want you to be happy Blair-"_

_ "Then let me leave!" Blair cut him off. "You've hurt me too many times Chuck and I'm not going to get sucked in to your games again just to get hurt. You had your chance and you lost me. Games over Chuck. I give up."_

_ "It's not a game anymore Blair, and it hasn't been for a long time. You don't love him Blair, he doesn't deserve you."_

_ "Oh and what? You do? You do not deserve me Chuck. I learnt that the night you sold me to Jack. I loved you Chuck and you broke my heart. Now please, let me leave."_

_ The elevator dinged as the doors opened and Prince Louis came out, "Ready Blair?"_

_ "Coming Louis!" Blair answered and she went to walk past Chuck but he put his arm out to stop her._

_ "Please Blair, I'm begging you, don't go with him."_

_ "Let me go Chuck. Or give me one good reason why I shouldn't leave here tonight and never come back." She raised her eye brows, she knew he didn't have the guts to say what she wanted to hear._

_ "I love you." He said it so simply, like it was obvious to everyone. Blair was shocked she didn't think he would say it._

_ "Well that's too bad." She pushed past his arm and wiped the tears away as she went to the elevator to meet Louis._

_ "I love you Blair. Always have, always will," Chuck's voice pleaded with her as he chased her to the elevator, Louis stood uncomfortably next to his fiancé, feeling like the third wheel in some sick love triangle._

_ The elevator doors started to close and Chuck looked into Blair's eyes, he almost had her, she was going to come out of the elevator and wrap her arms around him and he would never let go, never again would he let her go. But it was getting too late and Chuck began to lose hope._

_ "Good bye Chuck," Blair said as the doors closed on him. _

_Chuck Stood there heart broken, he finally lost her, he did everything he thought would win her, but it didn't work, he was no match to a Prince and Blair had always wanted to be a Princess. He made his way to her room and sat down on her bed. It felt eerie, all the clothes and shoes were gone from her wardrobe and her dresser near her mirror was empty. He lay down and he let the tears come, he was glad no one was here to see him like this, slowly he fell asleep and dreamt happy dreams of him and Blair._


	3. What really happened

Chapter 3. What really happened.

Chuck's eyes opened slowly and searched for the clock, the green lights told him it was 2am in the morning. He rolled over and wondered where the dream had started, did he really just see Blair Waldorf in the lobby downstairs? He couldn't trust his head but he could trust the pain in his heart, seeing her again after three years was hard to handle, and she looked so different.

She had not one designer thing on her, and if Chuck was being honest she looked as though she bought her whole outfit from K-mart on sale, her hair was grubby and was in desperate need of a stylist. But she was still her and knowing that she was here and safe put a smile to Chuck's face and without thinking he put on his robe and headed up to the top floor.

Blair rolled over in her sleep and her arms reached out for something-someone-she knew wasn't there, letting her arms fall out in front of her she was overcome by sadness. Where did it all go wrong? She was supposed to be married by now, whether it was Louis, Chuck or even Nate she didn't care, being alone was not apart of her plan.

There was a small knock at her door, couldn't people read? Blair thought, thinking of the "do not disturb" sign hanging on her door and when she caught sight of what the time was she was even more cranky. She tiredly stumbled towards the door dragging her robe over her shoulders.

Chuck knocked on the door again, hoping Blair was already awake but knowing this was a stupid idea, he should have waited until morning, cranky Blair was never a good idea. Blair opened the door and she looked a mess-and cranky.

"How did you know this was my room?" she greeted him.

"I had a hunch," Chuck replied. This was the suite he wanted and of course Blair had gotten it first.

He stood there in the door way awkwardly, not sure on what to do next. "Gonna let me in?" he asked Blair.

"Do I have a choice?" she retorted. Chuck looked down, why did she have to be like this?

Blair noticed she had made him upset and felt bad, she owed him more then that.

"I mean, yes, of course, please, come in." She smiled at him sweetly, it was Chuck Bass after all.

Chuck walked into the room and looked around, noticing the packed bags he turned to her, "Going somewhere?"

Blair looked away from his gaze "Can I offer you a drink?"

Ok so she didn't want to talk about it, Chuck had to deal with that, he was hardly apart of her life anymore, but that didn't mean he couldn't have fun.

"Oh, no, not for me. I don't drink anymore, haven't for years." a smile played around his mouth.

Blair was confused, this was Chuck Bass, wasn't it?

"Oh, um, wow. That's...confronting. I guess I missed a lot," this hurt Blair to say, she didn't mean to miss anything, and if this was true then who was this man in her room now? Was it still the Chuck Bass she loved, or had he gone?

"Come on Blair!" Chuck laughed. "You know me better then that, one scotch please, I assume you remember how I like it?"

Blair sighed in relief and started pouring two glasses of scotch and took them over to where Chuck had sat down. She sat opposite him and looked straight at him. Chuck hadn't changed much at all since she saw him last, he wore silk blue pyjamas with a black robe over the top that had CB embroidered on the chest. His hair had changed slightly but not dramatically and when she looked into his eyes she could still she her Chuck Bass. She couldn't help but shudder when she thought about what Chuck would be looking at.

Blair wore cotton pajamas that didn't match with an undone hotel robe draped over her, her hair was a mess and dark make up was smudged under her eyes from sleeping without taking make up off. But when Chuck looked deep in her eyes she was still the beautiful 16 year old he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

They sat there like this for a while, just staring at each other and getting used to the idea that they were really in the same room after three years, terrified of the talk they knew was coming next.

Something caught Chuck's eye and he looked down at Blair's hands, happy to see her ruby ring on her right hand, shocked to see no ring on her left hand. He looked around the room just to make sure before he voiced his findings.

"Looking for something?" Blair asked, confused.

"What happened Blair?"

"Excuse me?"

"Where's Louis?"

"Oh..." Blair looked away from Chuck as she decided what to tell him, she was so embarrassed that her whole plan went up in smoke only a few days after she left New York, and it was no one but her's fault.

"Blair, I know we haven't seen or talked to each other for three years but I'm still me, and you know you can tell me anything," Chuck was happy he could spend time with her and wanted to keep her talking so he didn't have to leave too soon. "I'm here to listen, no judging, I promise."

Blair couldn't help but smile, he stilled cared about her and this made her happy, she was scared to tell him, but if she had to tell anyone, it should be Chuck.

"Well, after I left-after you told me you still loved me - I realized how much I I still loved you," Blair looked down, a weird knot formed in her stomach as she told Chuck this, and her heart began to beat faster. "And I was scared, scared of the future I was going to have, I realized I didn't know how to be a princess, I acted like I did but truth is I wouldn't have been able to handle it."

Chuck laughed at this point. "Blair you have been a Queen your whole life, I'm pretty sure you would know how to handle it."

"Oh, yes, that I could handle, the thing I couldn't handle was being away from New York, away from Serena, Nate, my family and...you, especially you."

"Then why has it taken you three years to make any contact with me?"

"I'll tell you the story, just listen," Blair snapped. "Anyway, I became scared to tell Louis how I felt, he was so happy, so excited and I just let it happen. On the wedding day I looked beautiful, so beautiful all the worry was all blurry in my thoughts and all I could think about was myself, very typical. I thought that by being a princess every day would make me beautiful everyday. When I was walking down the aisle everything was perfect, but I realized something was wrong, the flowers were perfect and the dress was perfect but when I looked at the groom I realized what was wrong. You weren't there." At this point she looked up and Chuck saw that tears were filled in her eyes ready to spill over. He reached out to her, wanting to hold her and and she took his hand and squeezed it lightly and continued with the story.

"When I realized that I was doing the wrong thing and that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I stopped, I was halfway down the aisle when I just stopped. Louis looked at me questioning what I was doing when I turned around and ran out of the church, when I got outside I didn't stop running, I heard people calling out to me, Louis's voice was the loudest, but I didn't stop until I found a taxi. The taxi drove me to Louis's where I packed my bags quickly and I left the engagement ring on the table next to his bed with a note, and the dress on the bed."

Chuck squeezed Blair's hand, he was surprised and couldn't believe what she was saying, "You left Louis for...for me?"

"Yes. Of course, you were my future and I loved you." She smiled happily.

"Why do you keep talking in past tense?" Chuck asked confused.

Blair's expression turned angry and she glared at Chuck, "After I packed my bags I went straight to the airport and got on the next plane to New York. I went back for you and the whole way over I played the scene in my head over, and over again, I would come to you at The Empire and tell you everything that happened and how I felt. But when I got to your suite, you weren't there and Nate was, I asked where you were and how long you would be, he told me you were in the Hamptons with a girl called Elyse."

Chuck looked away from Blair as he remembered Elyse, what a waste of time she was, only after one thing. Money. "Blair if I knew, I would have been back in a heart beat."

"I know that now, but the way Nate told me it sounded pretty serious and I didn't want to stay around just to see you return with another woman. So I went back to Paris and I've been living with Dad and Roman. I was too embarrassed to go back to the city, I couldn't tell anyone what had happened, I was too ashamed..didn't Nate tell you I came back?"

"Didn't say anything to me," said Chuck, barley listening anymore, he couldn't wrap his head over what was happening, timing was everything, and of course he got that wrong too.

"Well, he was pretty stoned when I saw him, can't say I'm surprised," Blair laughed to try and lighten up the mood.

"So why are you in London?" Chuck asked.

"I needed to escape," Blair replied. "And you?"

"Same, everything around me reminded me of you, I have missed you so much Blair, and you know what I think? I think this was fate, us meeting again tonight. Remember when I said that when two people were meant to be together eventually they will find they're way back to each other? Well this is it Blair, we found each other again."

"How can you be so sure?" she whipped a stray tear from her cheek.

"Because it's us, Blair! You said it yourself, we are each others future, and now we have a second chance!"

Blair raised her eyebrows at Chuck.

"Ok, maybe now we have a...10th Chance?" Chuck laughed. "Lets not mess it up this time, I won't mess it up, I need you Blair, and I know you need me."

"Chuck..." Blair wasn't convinced. "We only just met up again, I don't think we should rush into anything."

"Ok! We won't rush, we'll take it slow. Please Blair, one more chance, I promise I will make you happy. I won't fuck it up this time."

Blair was still holding Chuck's hand as she thought about it, she had missed him, and once a upon a time he was her future, and he still could be. Chuck wasn't about to give up, he still wanted her and wanted her to come back to New York, his life hasn't been the same without her in it, and he had one more thing he could think of that would help make up her mind quickly. "I love you Blair, I have never stopped loving you, and I know you love me too, tell me you love me and all this pain could have been for something."

Blair was speechless, when she found her words she said. "Don't steal what I said to you at Nate's Party, that's hardly fair, besides you said it wrong."

"Blair!" She was testing his patience.

Blair sniffed and whipped the tears from her eyes. "I love you too."

Chuck stood up from the table and and dragged Blair with him and pulled her into is arms he couldn't help but smile, he moved his hand to her face and kissed he gently on her lips and she kissed back. The kiss became more passionate and Chuck couldn't help himself as he lay Blair down onto the bed and balanced his weight on top of her. She pulled him to her and the kiss didn't break until she stopped suddenly, a cruel thought entered her mind, maybe this was just Chuck's way to get her to sleep with him again, he lifted his head up, "What's wrong?" he breathed.

"I said we would take things slow, this isn't slow." She pointed out.

Chuck was disappointed but he didn't want to fight her new rule, he just wanted her to be happy. "Well maybe I should leave then, I don't think I could handle being with you right now," he laughed and Blair looked upset. "No don't worry, I just think I should go to bed and we can go have breakfast in the morning, we need to catch up, in public, where I won't be tempted." He winked at her and Blair giggled. "You're right, I don't think I could control myself when we're in a hotel room together, I will see you in the morning." She smiled and Chuck got off her as he fixed his hair. Blair followed him to the door where he turned around and lightly kissed her on the lips before leaving. She stood there as the door closed and smiled to herself, she really had missed him.


	4. Taking it Slow

Taking It Slow.

Chuck pushed the down button breathing heavily, still aroused by his sudden impulse actions just a moment ago. He breathed out and ran his hand through his hair thinking of Blair's body and how close they had come.

Blair rested against the door breathing in and out with her hand on her chest, she could feel her heart racing, she was thinking of the way Chuck had touched and held her and regretted telling him to get off her. She wanted him so badly.

Blair turned to face the door and pulled it open, shocked to see Chuck standing there with his hand rolled up ready to knock on the door. They stared at each other for three seconds before Blair lunged herself at him and he met her halfway, their lips being the first to make contact. Chuck pulled her in closer and pushed her up against the wall next to the door as she pulled his robe off. Blair pushed off the wall and closed the door behind them using her foot and pulled Chuck over to the bed where she pushed him down and saddled him. Chuck kissed Blair vigorously and she returned it, unbuttoning his silk pyjamas as he took her white singlet off. Chuck rolled over and was on top of Blair again, he kissed her along her jaw and up to her ears where he snapped at it lightly with his teeth. Blair felt a shiver run down her spine and she couldn't help it when she moaned softly and said "Chuck".

Chuck's hands found her pants and pulled them off while she busied herself by ripping is pants of him, she wrapped her legs around him and felt the need to get closer , she couldn't wait any longer. Chuck peeled his lips away from her and stared into her eyes, Blair looked up at him and the room was filled with the sound of their heavy breathing, she smiled at him sweetly and bit down on her lips. Chuck smiled back at her and started kissing her again, softly and different to the way it was before, there was no more urgency and not so rough, Blair liked this.

He held her like she was a delicate flower, Blair had forgotten how good Chuck was at this and she didn't want to stop this anytime soon. Their lips never parted and they let their hands do all the exploring, getting familiar with each other again, which didn't take too long. He remembered what she liked and she returned all his favours. After a few seconds Blair let out a loud cry and she knew the surrounding apartments would have heard but she didn't care, things started to speed up again then, when Chuck stopped being as careful. Chuck let out a low groan and it was over, they laid in each others arms, looking deep into the others eyes, Blair let out a giggle.

"What?" Chuck smiled as he kissed her gently.

"I can't believe I forgot how good you are." Blair sighed.

Mock hurt shot across Chuck's face and he said, "Maybe I should refresh your memory again..."

"So much for taking it slow," Blair laughed. Chuck laughed with her and rubbed her arm up and down.

"God I missed you."

"I've missed you too."

Their lips met again and they replayed the scene they had performed a few minutes ago.

Blair's eyes opened, they were sore and tired. The clock told her it was 9am, she was late. She slowly got her way out of Chuck's grip, trying not to wake him, and headed over to her suitcase, pulling random clothes out of it and put them on. When she was decent she headed out the door looking back at Chuck, she smiled to herself, what she was about to do was going to be hard, but not as hard as the past three years she had lived without Chuck.

He was waiting for her at the bus station, carrying a bag over his shoulder and another in his hand, he smiled brightly when he saw Blair coming towards him but it soon vanished when he noticed she wasn't carrying any bags. When she reached him he bent down and planted a soft kiss on her lips but Blair didn't return it.

"You're not coming." It wasn't a question but Blair answered it anyway.

"No, I'm sorry," She sighed, Will was a nice guy and she felt bad for cancelling their weekend away together, where they were going to try and be an actual couple, but since Chuck was back it didn't feel right. "Things are really complicated in my life right now, and I need to work out what is going on, it's not you I promise, it's just that the timing is all wrong."

The bus pulled up and people started getting on as Blair and Will stared at each other.

"I better be going then," he whispered. "When are things not complicated with you Blair?"

When Chuck Bass isn't around, she thought. "I really am sorry. I'm so happy I met you, we can catch up when you get back." She smiled at him.

He was at the end of the line Blair gave him one last hug and kissed him on the cheek and he stepped onto the bus. Will turned around to face her again and said, "I think I'm in love." Blair was surprised and whipped away a tear going down her cheek and said "Me too," She couldn't believe what she was about to say to him. "But not with you."

The Bus doors closed on him but that didn't stop Blair from seeing the hurt that over took his eyes and she felt terrible for what had just happened, but knew that it was the right thing to do. She waved at the bus absentmindedly as it drove down the street and didn't stop until the bus was well and truly gone. She stood there for a few more minutes, her hands wrapped around her stomach as the cold wind swept by her. Blair turned around and worked hard to get Will off her mind as she made her way back to the hotel, back to Chuck.

Daylight broke into the room through the cracks in the curtain, and Chuck Bass's eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the morning glare. He was surprised to find that he was the only one in the room, and then began to worry that last night was just a dream, like the dreams he had been having every night since Blair left New York. He sat up and took in his surroundings, comforted when he spotted Blair's suitcase, opened with clothes pouring out of it, she must have gotten up from a jog or something, he thought.

Chuck got out of the bed, lazily pulling his pyjama pants back on, his body ached all over, Blair had really given him a work out. He made his way to the bathroom and looked around, on the mirror photos were attached and Chuck looked at them, he didn't know anyone in them, except for Blair. He was shocked to see Serena in a few of them, and he knew they were recent, that bitch, he thought, he knew she had more contact with Blair then she had let on. He couldn't help but notice one reoccurring face, a man's face. A good looking man's face. Who always had his arm firmly around Blair's Waste. Or his lips glued to hers. Jealousy filled his body as he grabbed one of the photos off the mirror and ripped it in half, letting the pieces fall to the ground. He felt cheated, and used, who was this man? Why did Blair just sleep with him when clearly there was some other guy in her picture? He didn't know what to do, so instead he just gathered his things and stormed back to his own room where he poured himself a scotch, he didn't care how early it was.

Blair turned her key in the door and let herself in "Hello?" she called out when she didn't see Chuck in the bed. "Chuck?...Chuck!" she searched but she couldn't find him, well this was typical, she thought. She looked in each room, even the closets, half expecting him to surprise her, until she got to the bathroom and found the ripped up photo of her and Will. "Shit." She grabbed the photo and threw it into the trash making her way back out the door and to the elevator. Blair had no idea what room Chuck was in or if he was even still in the hotel, but she thought it would be best to start in the lobby. The Brunette girl at the counter looked up when she hear Blair approaching and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf and I'm staying on the top floor, my dear _friend_ Chuck Bass left this in my room last night," she showed her her own phone. "Any way you could tell me his room number so I can return it?"

"Oh sorry hun, but that information is confidential." She rolled her eyes, she knew who Chuck Bass was and this girl probably just wanted an excuse to see him again. "But feel free to leave it here and he can come and collect it."

"That won't be necessary," Blair smirked. "Didn't you hear, my name is _Blair Waldorf_, even you must know what that means."

"No. Now I'm sorry I can't help you with that but is there anything else you need."

"I like your top, designer is it?" Blair stared at her.

"Um yeah, it's and Eleanor..." Her eyes went bright.

"Waldorf." Blair finished for her. "Now I can get you the latest styles if you just tell me what room he is in, and you better give me the key too." Blair smiled, she missed being a bitch.


	5. Chapter 5 Truth is Better Told a Lie

Truth is better told a lie

Blair continued walking to the elevator in a hurry, hoping to God that Chuck was still in the building. She pushed on level 7's button once in the elevator and waited impatiently, tapping her foot against the floor, as the elevator made it's slow ascend.

Chuck sat alone in his room, looking out to the town below him, not taking anything in as he sipped his scotch. He sat there singing to himself, ignoring the world below him.

"You try so hard but you don't succeed," He whispered to himself. "When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse."

Chuck sniffed the tears back in, his heart had been aching for song long and all because of Blair. How many times did he have to loose her before she stayed with him. For so long he was sure she had been his future but now he didn't have the strength to keep fighting.

"When the tears come streaming down your face, When you loose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?"

"_Chuck, aren't you done trying to destroy my night?"_

"_Look I should have never abandoned you. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. Distracted myself all summer, hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do."  
"And?"_

"_I was scared, I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together, just us, you would see."_

"_See what?"  
"Me...Please don't leave with him."_

"_Why? Give me a reason and 'i'm Chuck Bass' doesn't count."_

"_Because you don't want to."_

"_Not good enough."_

"_Because I don't want you to."  
"It's not enough."_

"_What else is there?"_

"_The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words, eight letters, say it and i'm yours."_

"_I...i..."_

"_Thank you. That's all I needed to hear."_

Chuck was pulled out of his day dreaming when he heard three sharp knocks on his door, he sat up in his seat and kept quiet, he didn't know who it was, nor did he care. He just wanted to be alone.

Blair sighed, she didn't want to barge in like she owned the place but she had no choice, she had to explain to Chuck that it was all a misunderstanding. She swiped the key in the lock and walked in.

"Chuck?" She called.

"What do you want Blair?"

"I came to see you. Are you ok, why did you leave?" though she already knew the answer.

"I'm fine. Busy actually. Thanks for stopping by though." He didn't turn to look at her. "It's been a pleasure."

"What are you doing Chuck?"

"_Who_ are you doing Blair? Me or some pommy douche?"

"Will isn't a douche Chuck."

Chuck snorted. "Will is it? That's original."

"Chuck, don't."  
"Don't what? You honestly think that I am being the jerk here? I didn't just sleep with someone and have someone else on the side line."

"You can not be serious. It's been three years Chuck. I wasn't on some dry spell you know."

Chuck didn't answer.

"You can't honestly tell me you haven't slept with anyone in the past three years?" Blair doubted it.

"Two and half years actually. I haven't slept with anyone in two and a half years Blair. Not since-" Chuck cut his sentence, but it was too late, Blair knew there was something Chuck wanted to hide from her.

"Since who Chuck?"

"That's irrelevant. What i'm saying is that you could have at least told me that there was someone else before I poured my whole fucking heart out to you."

Blair had tears in her eyes. "Please don't do this Chuck, I love you. I broke things off with Will this morning, it's you that I want to be with."

"This whole time I have always thought that it was me that didn't deserve you, but you know what? You do not deserve me."

"I can't believe you just said that."  
"Think about it Blair, how many times have I poured my heart out to you just to be rejected time and time again because some fucking Lord or Prince Charming was around, what am I? The constellation prize?"

"You ass, how many times have I poured my heart out to you? How long do we have to keep playing the same old game until we can finally be happy? I have forgiven you for so many things Chuck, selling me to Jack, choosing hookers over me, sleeping with Jenny Humphrey, you even tried to ruin my life but each time I have accepted that that is who you are." Blair was yelling at this point. "I sleep with one guy and suddenly i'm the one who ruined this relationship?"

"I'm not playing any game anymore, i'm done with it and i'm done with you."

"No...you don't mean that."

"You don't know me anymore Blair. You left for three years with no contact? Why should I even bother talking to you now?" Chuck's heart ached, he thought he was doing the right thing, he had to let go now, his life had been put on hold for too long, he needed to be free.

Blair was in tears again, "Please don't do this. I love you so much."

"I have to, otherwise we will keep running in circles, and i'm tired of this." Chuck let out a deep breath. "I'm going back to New York this afternoon, don't come back."

"What happened to having a second chance?" Blair was desperate. "You don't know what you are saying, you're drunk, lets just talk about it later, please."

"No Blair. I'm leaving. _Now."_

He pushed past Blair and headed to the door, picking up his suitcase on the way out, before he left he turned around. "Oh and by the way, I fucked Serena."

Blair felt as though she had been slapped in the face, she had no idea what had just happened, but she knew that it wasn't just Chuck that had just left the room but it was her heart too.


	6. Bad Mistakes

Bad Mistakes

"_So have you heard from her?" _

_Serena didn't hear Chuck enter her room and got a shock when she heard his voice so close behind her, he had disappeared for six months, claiming he was away on business, but Serena knew him all to well and could tell that he had been searching for Blair. _

"_Chuck! You scared me!" She turned around and had a fake smile blazing off her face in Chuck's direction, "I didn't know you were back in the city, you should have said you were coming home, it had been so boring with just me and Nate here, but don't tell him I said this cause he thought the past six months had been a blast-" _

_Chuck shushed her and said "You're talking way too much, just answer my question. Have you heard from her? Have you heard from Blair?"_

_Serena looked away from his gaze and nodded, she wasn't ready to lie to him, not yet, she had promised Blair to keep her secret, from every one, especially Chuck._

"_When?" Chuck whispered. _

"_She just called," Serena nodded towards her phone that was on her dressing table next to her. _

"_And...what's happening? How is she? Is she good? Is _he_ treating her right?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes what?"_

"_yes to all of the above," Serena had to look away from him again to hide the truth from him,she wasn't good and he definitely wasn't treating her right, they weren't even in the same country anymore. But she couldn't tell all this to Chuck, it would give him false hope and she didn't have the heart to do that to him._

_Chuck turned towards Serena's window and stared out to the city below him, he dried swallowed and scowled at his reflection. How did he manage to lose the most important person in his world? He didn't care about what anyone thought, she was he's Blair and his world didn't exist without her in it, he sighed a laugh at the terrible irony in that thought. Blair had once told him that it wouldn't be her world without him in it and he had changed all his plans just to make her happy and for what? Nothing. Now she was enjoying her new life in Paris well away from him, she was a fake and a liar._

"_I'm glad you're home," Serena whispered from her corner in the room._

"_This isn't home." Chuck replied in a dull mummer turning to face Serena. "And it never will be again, not unless that stupid prince drops dead."_

_Serena flinched at his harsh words and wished so badly that she could tell him that Blair didn't day "i do" and that he should go and find her and get her to come back to New York, but Blair had made it clear, she wasn't ready to come back anytime soon and "whatever you do Serena, not one word to Chuck. Not. One. Word." Her voice echoed in her head and she shook it off and looked back to Chuck, he was breathing deeply and his fists were rolled up into balls._

"_Chuck...are you ok?" Serena asked quietly._

"_No, Serena, i'm not. Six months ago I lost the most important girl in my life to some prince, and she wasn't just any girl. Blair was...everything. She gave me everything just by breathing, everything we went through together was seen as a game to everyone but it wasn't a game. It was much more then that, in a weird and twisted way it was love. And I love her so much Serena, I never meant to hurt her but I did. I wrecked everything we had and now I can't take it back, its too late, I have lost **everything**."_

_Serena moved over to Chuck and put her arms lazily around his neck, trying to comfort him she said "Trust me Chuck, everything will work out for the best, every thing happens for a reason, you've just got to sit back and let it happen. I understand how special Blair is to you and how badly you want to make things right, but you've got to understand that even good things come to an end. Just hang in there Chuck and I promise everything will seem normal again."_

_He shook his head and sat down on her bed and rested his head in his hands, Serena hesitated, not sure what to do next. She eventually went and sat next to Chuck on her bed and wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly._

_Chuck's mood changed then suddenly, the position he was now in reminded him of another night, another year, another bed and most importantly another girl. He wasn't thinking straight then and the next thing he knew he was crushing his own mouth against Serena's, it felt good to have a girls arms wrapped around him that all sense of thought was absent from his mind, the old Chuck had returned and all that ran through his mind was **girl equals sex**. _

_Serena was hesitant at first but let the kiss happen, scared to harm Chuck's feelings even more then she already had tonight, but a few seconds in there was no doubt of where this kiss was heading but Serena didn't have the power to stop herself, she had always wondered what was so great about Chuck Bass and she could tell she was about to find out. She knew it was wrong and that she would have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life, but it was late and she had been single for a while now._

_Chuck grabbed at her and pulled her in closer, tracing is tongue around her lips while taking her dress off, in a matter of 30 seconds all clothes were off and and things had gone too far to stop now. Serena was amazed by Chuck's perfection, Chuck was surprised at how bad Serena actually was, he tried not to laugh though, but he realised he probably wasn't giving her enough credit, no one would ever measure up to Blair. It was all over in a number of minutes and Chuck got off the bed quickly and found his clothes and put them on in a rush, the guilt already sinking in he ran towards the door and before leaving he turned to Serena and said in a rush "I shouldn't have come here like this, i'm sorry. Just, can we never, ever speak of this again." _

_Before Serena could respond he was out of her door, she sat there shocked, contemplating what just happened, but Chuck's request was something she could definitely agree on._

Chuck woke with a start, he was sitting in his chair on the aeroplane and could feel it descending. He rubbed his chin as he breathed out and closed his eyes once more, the guilt in his heart more apparent then the night it all happened. He really was a dickhead. Why on earth did he tell Blair about him and Serena, he knew deep down how much that would have hurt her and now, like thousands of things he had done, he could never take it back. Even with Blair on a completely different continent he could tell, something had certainly just started. And he was both anxious and excited to see what would happen next. The next move was Blair's.


End file.
